


A beastly heart to heart

by EriiErii



Series: Kiransona Collection [3]
Category: Fire Emblem Heroes, Fire Emblem Series, Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Blood and Violence, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Panic Attacks, Past Character Death, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Transformation, pokemorph
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-09-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:28:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24069640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EriiErii/pseuds/EriiErii
Summary: When Kamui thought he watched Kyo die in his arms, he completely turned feral mid-transformation into his dragon form, just as he had once before his change of name, worlds and timelines. Though Kyo proved himself to be fine, the brief moment Kamui turned feral still left him deeply shaken as old, painful memories surfaced again.
Relationships: Alfonse/Summoner | Eclat | Kiran, Kamui | Corrin/Summoner | Eclat | Kiran/Alfonse, My Unit | Kamui | Corrin/Summoner | Eclat | Kiran
Series: Kiransona Collection [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1652392
Kudos: 6





	1. Old Scars

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! For post updates, questions, art and general random silliness in between, check me out at eriisaam.tumblr.com for more!

Even now, Kyo still wasn’t sure what to think of the direction his life took. Or how all the pieces fell in place. Not only did he become someone who seemingly mattered, but someone who had two, now three boyfriends who all fell onto his lap and adored him practically immediately. They were hardly things he deserved.

Team Rocket took away much of his humanity. Gaining Breidablik, it took away much of his excuses to keep his head low and stick to just wasting away, paid date for paid date, one dinner plate cooked after another.

But… while he hated to admit it, and he was certainly stubborn at first, Kamui and Lifonse stole his heart, and Eclair soon after. Those stubborn little shits were stubborn enough to break down his walls, and they hardly seemed to break a sweat doing it. That they could even see there was a wall to begin with was where it all started, when this host boy who’d charm anyone who’d pay him was long too used to thinking love as little else but an act he could sell time and again.

He could argue that they paid their dues, even if not with the cash of his world, or the gold from theirs. 

However, no matter the coin or otherwise, and no matter how dismissive Kyo subtly was to them at first, he didn’t want Kamui to pay with his mental health. 

It all started when Kyo got too cocky. He traded blows, he took hits, and though he managed, he also drifted further away from Eclair, Lifonse and Kamui. Although Lifonse stuck beside Eclair to protect him, Kamui chased after him. And he showed up at just the wrong moment to walk right into the perfect ambush. 

Without thinking, Kyo threw himself into the slaughter instead.

He knew he would be fine. It would all hurt like utter hell, but with the powers forced on him, he had long since learned to recover and heal himself at a near instant. With how screwed up his genetics were at this point - at least having some parts ditto, and other parts seemingly of mew - there was _some_ silver lining to be had of this. If anything, being together with these three helped him practice that ability. His train of thought then and there was no matter how torn up his body was, and no matter how badly he was stabbed through or broken down otherwise, he could bounce back from this with vulnerary or his own power. He could live through this.

What _Kamui_ saw, however, was Kyo defending him just like Mikoto. And just like his mother, he collapsed against him for an attack meant for _him._ Even when Kyo hadn’t died in his arms near instantaneously like her, he already feared the worst.

For the time he came from - the time he and Lifonse saw him die once before - the reality immediately weighed on his mind that not only had he failed to rescue Kyo a second time, he got him killed even sooner than the death they lost him to originally.

And it was _his_ fault.

“You… y-you alright…? Tell me you’re fine…” 

“Kyo…”

It was _All. His. Fault._

“I’m… I-I’m glad…” 

_“Kyo!”_

The next thing Kyo knew, there was a very angry dragon on the loose. Kyo had seen before the times Kamui could get angry, but not like this… It was like a flip switched in that dragon prince. For all the times he saw him as this dumb, bright-eyed, endearing ray of sunshine, even at his angriest, he was still a little too cute to fully consider him a threat like his brothers until he transformed. And yet, even in his dragon form, the childish way he’d wag the tip of his tail like a puppy at his beck and call still left Kyo underestimating him.

In his human form, or otherwise, the extent of Kamui’s grief, and the overly feral look in his entire demeanor, was a whole new side he didn’t expect to see. And there was no amount of Kyo trying to speak up and prove he was still alive to stop this. It was like a part of Kamui was lost, and he was unable to shake off his thoughts Kyo died in his arms, essentially by his hand. 

The feral dragon that resulted was more than capable of slaughtering anyone and anything in his way, and he was far from reserved to demonstrate it. The only exception was Kyo himself, and though a corpse that he may in Kamui’s eyes, he made a clear effort to protect him, even when he had little clue how to bring his life back… ignorant he never lost this life to begin with.

In his past life, Kyo would’ve seen the context behind this for himself. In this life, however, all he had to go off of was Kamui’s direct reaction to him. He knew it was he who brought this side of him out, and while he was limiting his rampage to his immediate surroundings, there was no telling how long he would stay this way, or how far he’d roam otherwise after.

Kyo couldn’t do this. Kamui didn’t deserve this breakdown, and he especially shouldn’t be doing over someone like _him_.

By chance, Kamui threw a soldier right beside him mid-rampage. Kyo was already in the process of trying to mend himself and regain enough strength to get up and go after Kamui anyways, but before the soldier could get up and chase after Kamui, Kyo grabbed him and pulled him close to him. Figuring it could more than speed up the process, parts of Kyo’s teeth lengthened to fangs, and he sunk them into the soldier’s throat, absorbing more of his life force than his blood, but at least guaranteeing his demise nonetheless. His mild dislike of the coppery taste was more than made up for with the sudden surge of energy coursing through him as the soldier’s life completely drained away.

Tossing the drained corpse, Kyo briefly wiped the remains of the blood off his mouth with the back of his hand, but he had far worse things to focus on than just the mess. He could hear Lifonse’s and Eclair’s voices as they called out to Kamui, and Kyo had little reason to believe Kamui wouldn’t turn on them next once the pickings of enemy soldiers grew slim.

He studied what he could of Kamui’s form from where he stood, and as he gained confidence having the dragon clear on his mind, he allowed himself to transform into a silent dragon himself. The only difference between the two was Kyo lacked Kamui’s feral nature, and what’s more, his coloring was heavily dark and blue-toned in contrast to the bright white and black dragon on the loose.

Just as Kamui lashed out at the last wave of enemies, Kyo ran after him. 

Kamui’s head was pounding. Memories flickered in and out, from the way Mikoto died, to the way they found Kyo’s body from his original time. If he wasn’t thinking of watching Kyo die for the second time because of him, he was thinking of the time Azura tried to approach him the first time he acted out like this, only for him to strike her down and tried to choke her right after. 

He couldn’t let them live. He couldn’t let them get away. They already took Kyo away from him. What if they took Lifonse next? Or Eclair? He couldn’t allow it. _He was going to break every last one of them before they could try._

He roared out as he charged up to them and attacked. Either he drowned them with his watery attacks, crushed them, ripped them to shreds, or he beat them to death with his wings, tail, or claws otherwise. His once pearl-white hide was gradually darker tinted, almost giving him a near violet tone in some angles for how blood-drenched he was in his entirety. Some of it was his own blood, but most was that of his enemies.

_“Kamui!”_

Something was wrong. Lifonse knew the signs from Kamui’s body language and growls. The disgraced Askran prince held Eclair firmly in his arms to keep the hooded summoner from rushing off, but both were heavily worried, moreso when the way Kamui turned to look to them had done little to soothe their concerns. The blood of his latest kill was still dripping off his dragonic body, and the way he stared them down inspired more dread than comfort.

_[Don’t.]_

Kyo didn’t take any chances either way. Before Kamui could approach, Kyo positioned himself in front of him and hunkered down. He was on the defensive, but didn’t yet pose a threat, even if he confused Lifonse and Eclair further of what happened to make him turn on Kamui this way.

He should’ve been dead. Why was there another silent dragon here? Kyo’s dead, it couldn’t be him, could it…? 

[Kamui. Don’t do this.] The bluer silent dragon still didn’t back down. His voice remained firm, but more… it was Kyo’s voice echoing out of the dragon.

Be it his exhaustion, his wounds, or a brief flicker of his sanity returning, Kamui’s stance faltered, and Kyo could very well strike him off his paws with one good hit.

[Kyo…? You’re… But you…] His voice wavered. Kyo was dead. Kyo died protecting him. Was this Loki tricking him? But he could smell Kyo’s scent…

He nearly stumbled in taking a step back as Kyo approached. Despite Kamui’s whimper in his weak attempt to roar at him to back off, Kyo was firm, fluid, and moved closer to nuzzle the side of his neck by Kamui’s side. Kamui outright hissed at him to try to get him away, and yet, Kyo ignored him to try to comfort him more.

[It’s ok. It’s over.] Kyo continued to try to comfort and soothe him, and it got through to him just enough for Kamui’s hissing to stop. Being this close, Kyo’s scent was impossible to deny. It was him. He was alive. And yet, Kamui still was left shaken at the thought of what he saw just before.

[Kyo…] His voice was wavering, but his senses were steadier. He was tired enough to drape his head just over Kyo’s neck and along the back of it.

[Change back now, Kamui. You did enough.] It wasn’t new for Kyo to try to comfort his boyfriends, but something about this time felt almost… softer, somehow… gentler, calmer, like there was a stronger warmth than usual…

To Kamui’s credit, he tried. He tried to focus on changing his form back, just like all the numerous other times he would transform in and out of his human form. 

Yet unlike every time but his very first, he let out a whimper-like cry and stumbled against Kyo in bumping into him, nearly toppling the two over in the process of shifting all his weight against the other dragon.

[It hurts! I-it hurts…!]

[Shh, shh, don’t force it. Ease into it.] Before Kamui could knock them both over, Kyo shifted in trying to coax Kamui to lower himself. [Follow my lead, alright?]

“Kyo! Kamui! A-are the two of you alright?” Eclair couldn’t help himself, moreso as the two dragons lowered themselves further onto the ground. Lifonse relented just enough to move closer with him, but not enough to get in either of their ways.

He tensed quietly as both of them watched the two. It was a slower process than normal, and it left Lifonse heavily uncomfortable at just how familiar it was to him of the attack in Hoshido, back before he and Kamui opted to change their names. Maybe Kamui realized this as well, because this time around, the dragon prince didn’t protest as much, and rather, he cried more as he and Kyo slowly tried to ease their way back to their human forms. It left Kyo woefully uncomfortable of forcibly slowing himself down to be at Kamui’s level, but he willed himself heavily against the discomforts of his mutated form as he tried to ease a terrified Kamui to slowly reveal his human features from a dragonic body.

“I-I can’t anymore-! It hurts, I-...! I-I feel sick, I can’t…!” He begged Kyo for relief and forgiveness, but while he was mostly human now, he still had the claws, tail and horns of his dragon form. At least in this way, Kyo himself felt less strained and sick, as by then the two were functionally like a burst version of Kamui’s dragon form.

“You’ll feel worse the longer you stay that way, especially with how upset you are.” Kyo reached over his clawed hands to cup and cradle Kamui’s cheek in his palm. While Kyo at least was careful enough to mind his claws, Kamui gripped Kyo’s wrist and arm with little thought of his own. Although he once again had to will himself to ignore the way it took very little on Kamui’s part to cut him, this was a routine he accepted long before this other times anyways. “Just one more push, ok? Do it for me. Then you can rest however the hell long you need, alright?”

He clearly was still upset, and he was still heavily burnt out emotionally and physically, but Kamui looked up to Kyo all the same. He still had a feral look in his eyes, he still had visible fangs on top of his other mutations, and he was still highly on-edge and shivering in his exhaustion and pain, but he relented under Kyo’s calm, soothing aura and tried one more time.

By then, Lifonse trusted the two enough to approach with Eclair more. As Lifonse was already digging into his convoy for some vulneraries to help them, Eclair hesitated in reaching out to try to rub Kamui’s arm and soothe him, at a loss of what else to do otherwise that could help. He winced and pulled his hand away when Kamui cried out and whined again in trying once more to change back further. But as obvious as it was to the other two that Eclair didn’t hurt him, the other summoner hesitated to try to touch him again anyways. It was his own first time seeing Kamui struggle so much with his own transformation.

By the end of it, Kamui couldn’t take it anymore, and he was still left with his dragon tail, fangs, and longer than normal nails whose tips still poked through his restored gloves, but he was otherwise human. Even as Kyo completely changed to his own human form in full, and even as Kamui looked up to him with guilt and shame, this was fair enough, and he didn’t push the issue further. 

Maybe in his guilt not to try just a little more to get rid of his tail, or the incredible stress of nearly losing Kyo still weighed too much otherwise, he broke down sobbing into Kyo’s chest as the less-hooded-of-the-two summoner cradled him in his arms and gave him a moment. 

However long it was, Kamui couldn’t tell anymore. All he focused on was letting loose what little frustrations and grief he still had pent up in him. He could vaguely hear Lifonse and Kyo talking, and he could pick up well enough that their tones varied on worried to slightly argumentative, but Kamui’s focus was too shot to take in the words for themselves to follow along. He could vaguely feel what he guessed was Eclair speaking up to him and trying to touch him yet again, but all Kamui took in was his soothing, timid voice, and the gentle rubs along his back. It was enough for him to begin purring, but still not enough to focus on what Eclair tried to specifically say to him. 

All he focused on most was Kyo’s heartbeat as his ear was pressed against Kyo’s chest. He was still shaking and still purring even as Kyo had to outright pick him up and carry him like a bride as the four went elsewhere between vulnerary rubs and more scolding. He was pretty sure someone tried to ask him something and get him to speak, but he barely choked out a sob mid-purr, and barely focused on the question, or even who asked it. 

He couldn’t do that again. He couldn’t take that again. Kyo was alive after all this time, but if Kyo wasn’t still here to calm him, what then? Would he eventually go past the point of return like his father? Would he lose Lifonse or Eclair next? He came so close to losing the latter just as soon as he met him, too. He didn’t know what to do if he had lost anyone, and he was left in a nonverbal state trying to rationalize enough to cope and recover. 

What wound up finally calming him was him being lulled to sleep by Kyo’s heartbeat.

* * *

When Kamui woke up, his entire body ached, but he tried to force himself to rise up anyways. He could still feel evidence that he had his tail remain with him, but he was significantly dressed down into sleepwear for what he guessed was Kyo or Lifonse stripping him.

Not that he minded. He was used to the same treatment back in Nohr and Hoshido, and moreso here with his lovers. But even as he realized it was late at night, and they were all asleep, albeit accounted for, Kamui was still left with his own demons haunting his thoughts of what happened a moment earlier. 

He slumped back down while laying against Kyo. It took him a moment to realize that Kyo still remained, and he was briefly thrilled to bits enough to wag the tip of his tail when the cushion he gripped was actually Kyo’s breast, but his joy of Kyo still remaining with them throughout the night was short-lived.

He scared Lifonse and Eclair, no doubt. He also reminded himself heavily that the Kyo of this world lacked so much of the memories and intimacies of the Kyo who they lost in their own native time. The Kyo they lost had watched him when he transformed for the first time in Shirasagi’s capital. He saw just as Alfonse did of his struggles, his fears, and all the tears he shed in the night following, between his guilt of harming Azura and the rampage he caused in Shirasagi’s ruins, to the way the Takumi of that time scolded him and swore off him being his brother after all. 

He counted his blessings this timeline. When his own family in his own time were splintered to the bitter, bloody end, especially on his Nohrian side, this timeline was a time both Nohr and Hoshido not only found common ground, but tied knots left and right between families even across other worlds and summoners. And this Kyo didn’t bat an eye to see him all the other times he transformed more smoothly in and out of his dragon form. Something about him also seemed...warmer... Even when Kamui and Lifonse had to change their names, and both abandoned their life and timeline in favor of this one, it brought them Eclair, and Kyo was alive again and theirs once more.

But… this was also the first time he saw him transform _that_ way. The more painful way, the darker way, the one where he became a full beast even down to his very soul.

Or… was he still a beast even now? Would he hate him now? Would he fear him? 

“Mmmfmmm stooooop…” 

Kamui froze up, and moreso when Kyo sleepily reached over and grabbed Kamui’s hand. The summoner pried him off of the breast Kamui was absentmindedly squeezing and pricking with his nails, and though he gently released it without fuss, his cheeks flushed with guilt and charm when Kyo took Kamui’s hand in his instead. 

It left the dragon prince hopeful, and the tip of his tail wagged in anticipation as he looked over Kyo. Despite him still holding his hand, and rubbing circles on the back of his palm with his thumb, Kyo was otherwise still asleep.

As much as Kamui had his initial reservations, he reached over with his free hand to grab Kyo’s shoulder and gently shake him. 

He was less than hopeful all over again when Kyo stirred, only to immediately jolt awake and suddenly suck in a breath of alarm at the sight of him. Amidst a flurry of curses softly blurted out under his breath, once Kyo realized the slit-pupil-eyed hellbeast looming over him was actually Kamui, he calmed himself and tried to wake up more in covering his face briefly with his free hand.

“Dammit Kamui, I thought you…” He was slightly cranky, and he muttered a few other things too softly under his breath for Kamui to understand, but he eventually evened out to a calmer tone of voice. “Nevermind… What is it…?”

“Sorry, I… nevermind…” He faltered at the last minute. No matter their commotion. Lifonse and Eclair were still fast asleep, and if anything, all it accomplished was coaxing Eclair to bury his face more between Lifonse’s breasts, and for Lifonse to hug him more likewise.

As Kyo huffed in disbelief and lingering frustration, Kamui tried to pull away more, if slowly. He was still sluggish, and his body ached, but after seeing the way Kyo reacted, he had his answer anyways.

“Wait.”

But, with a huff, Kyo reminded himself what happened earlier when he initially forgot in his sleep. Realizing his mistake, he got up far more seamlessly, and he reached over to cup Kamui’s cheek and redirect him back. At first, Kamui hesitated, but when Kyo remained stubborn, he eased to his gentle pull to look his way. His pupils were still slits, and he was still far more keyed up than his sore, weary body could fully convey, but he was more scared than completely feral right then.

Kyo tried to remind himself to be just a little more patient. Lifonse warned him of bits and pieces of what happened in another time Kamui behaved following a transformation like that, but while Lifonse prepared him to expect the worst, Kamui seemed just on the edge between being mostly calm, if also nerves away from acting otherwise.

“Sorry, I…” Kyo cleared his throat. Normally, it would’ve been easy to talk his way out of trouble, and toy with people until they were in better spirits again, but ever since being saddled with these three, he felt frustrated of stumbling more than usual in his comforts and moods. “Something’s on your mind still, right? Out with it.”

There was enough hesitance to tell Kyo this was indeed what it was about. Even so, Kamui wouldn’t verbally budge. Feeling he shut him down too soon, Kyo shifted just enough to pull Kamui the rest of the way to him, watching the prince slump into his arms and chest, but feeling more like he went limp in his arms, rather than ease into the hug.

“Look, if it’s about earlier, don’t sweat it, ok?” Once he was awake enough to remember how to be charming, he lured Kamui in with a much more soothing voice. There was some genuine concern still, but it was dulled from being still partially asleep in some ways. “And if it’s about your wounds, don’t overdo it yet. You’re still gonna be sore for a few days.”

“...What do you see when you look at me?”

At last, Kamui broke his silence again.

Not that it was an answer Kyo was expecting.

“I see someone who really needs to go back to bed.” Kyo tried to rub circles along Kamui’s back, but he remained stubborn against it. He neither purred, nor did he so much as twitch his tail, let alone wag it. 

“Not like that.” He shook his head. The most Kyo got out of him otherwise was the intense way Kamui looked up to him, slit-pupils and all. “When you look at me… do you see a beast? Was I a beast after all?”

“...Pffth. I guess?”

It was the exact answer Kamui dreaded. Worse, Kyo’s casual dismissal of it added more salt to the wound. 

“Heeeeey, not so fast.” But he wasn’t done yet. Before Kamui’s heart could crumble and crack, Kyo still kept him close to comfort and soothe him, and he even braved kissing him. “You’re talking to someone who turns into all kinds of beasts, too. What of it?”

“That’s not what I meant… Aren’t you afraid of me? What if I attacked you?” As much as he still dreaded Kyo’s words, Kamui started to see where his thoughts were really going after all, and not what he feared. Still, he hesitated to fully ease, no matter how casual and calm Kyo remained of it.

“Yet you didn’t.” He shrugged in return. “You recognized me fairly quickly.” He held his tongue, however, about how he transformed in the first place from his doubts. 

“But what if there’s a time I couldn’t? If I ever lost myself completely, what then…?”

Stubborn one, wasn’t he? Kyo huffed, but he adjusted his hold onto Kamui, until the prince could relax against his chest while he loomed over him protectively. While he hoped Kamui would lean his back against his chest, instead, the prince turned to hug him outright instead. Already, Kyo could feel him prick him all along his back when Kamui neglected his claw-like nail tips yet again, but by then, it was almost routine.

“Maybe there’ll be a bit of rough play, but otherwise, you’ll be fine.” Kyo kissed the top of Kamui’s head as he cradled him, giving in to his fate as the living pincushion, and already starting the process of prepping his body to heal itself, if subtly. “And that hardly changed my point that you still didn’t need it anyways.”

Kamui sighed. He wanted so much to argue more against the point, but… what with? Was he over-worrying, or not worrying enough? 

“You’re overthinking it.” Yet again, Kyo kissed Kamui. “Go to bed, will you? I can even sing you to sleep if you’d allow me this time.”

He did not. 

Kyo didn’t easily forget. The first time he tried to use his voice to force people to sleep, he was unfortunately made aware that Kamui and Lifonse were both able to resist that power. When he earlier was still apprehensive of suddenly having two boyfriends he didn’t fully trust, he didn’t think twice to use his power through his voice to try to lull Kamui and Lifonse to sleep, and then slip away back to the pokemon world. After all, Askr had two summoners besides him during the time he gave the whole Order of Heroes thing a chance, so what more could a third do? 

He learned that day that not only did both of them prove to be outright immune to the sleep-inducing properties of pokemon singing, but Kamui in particular had reacted terribly to it, to a point he had a nervous breakdown that ended in incoherent sobbing. For what few times he _was_ coherent, he was begging him not to leave them again.

“N-no…!” 

With the way he squeezed Kyo tightly enough to squeeze the breath out of the summoner, he _still_ didn’t take that power well. He didn’t immediately break down again, but his voice already cracked, and his breathing picked up again

“It’ll be easier for you to-”

 _“Please.”_ He begged him again. The urgency in Kamui’s voice picked up just a bit in volume, and in between gentle shushing, he just _barely_ avoided waking the other two up.

“Fine, fine, I won’t.” Granted, he didn’t know how else to get Kamui to go back to sleep, but he proved well enough singing was ill-advised, and he still wasn’t sure if Kamui was too guarded, or truly immune.

He hesitated on asking. He wanted to know, but he wasn’t quite awake enough to think of a delicate way to ask. 

But as Kamui nuzzled against Kyo’s chest, and he listened more to his heartbeat, he tried to confirm to himself it wasn’t like before. It didn’t have to be. _He wouldn’t allow it…_

“I don’t want to lose you again…” He blurted his thoughts out as he settled against Kyo more. There were light thumps as he lazily lifted the tip of his tail, only to drop it softly against the mattress, repeating the motion every so often, but not quite living up to his usual tail-wags.

Kyo saw his opening, and he took it, especially while it was still so fresh and raw on Kamui’s mind.

“Why would you think that?” 

“I don’t want to sleep that way…” He gave up his resistance, but he sounded so defeated while saying it. “Every time I do, you’re gone. A-and the last time you did that, you… I-I…”

Kyo cradled him more, especially as he felt his breasts get wet fairly quickly with Kamui’s tears. His grip tightened yet again along his back.

“I-I could’ve been there… We both could’ve… Y-you shouldn’t have to die for us, a-and yet you… W-why did… why….”

Yet again, Kyo shushed him gently. At least Kamui no longer had the fear of himself, but he couldn’t stop him in time from sobbing. It took him awhile to get him calm enough to speak again, rather than cry into his chest more.

“I hate it… I-I hate waking up without you anymore… I don’t want to keep waking up, fearing if you’re still alive or not…”

It gave Kyo pause. There were a _lot_ of instances of such, even in this time. Every time he came back from his own world, Kamui would practically tackle him just to hug him. He looked so thrilled, so excited, and was brimming with hope every time he saw him, especially compared to how stressed and much lower key Lifonse was, or how Eclair’s joy was calmer and generally perky by comparison.

It made him realize much of the weight behind why Kamui was always over the moon in seeing him return again every time, especially after otherwise leaving first thing in the morning in those times.

“Kamui…”

“Please, I-I…. I can’t… I know I’m making things harder, but I can’t take it anymore… not again… n-not like that… please…”

What else could he say? Kamui’s reaction was more than clear, especially when he soon found one of his legs was tightly wrapped in the coils of Kamui’s tail. He was also used to this, and it was Kamui’s way of feeling secure, but…

“Please, I-I’ll do anything, as long as I don’t lose you again… Lifonse and I… We…. we can’t do this again…” 

He looked up to Kyo seriously as he proclaimed it. He saw the way his eyes were no longer slits, but dilated once more to how they were, prior to what happened all day that day. They were pleading, they showed how terrified he was, especially as he was shivering again when his nerves got the better of him.

“Please…”

Was he genuinely fishing for an answer? Kyo sighed, but Kamui still begged him. Even when he tried to soothe him between rubs and nuzzling, Kamui continued begging to him for reassurance.

“...Alright, alright. I’ll be here as long as you’re all willing to put up with me....” It was funny how these guys could bring out this side to him instead. Maybe he grew jaded for how long it’s been, being paid to pretend he was desirable otherwise. 

Yet here was a royal dragon, treating him like he mattered. Like he was more than just a pretty face and an outlet for food and drink.

“Then no matter what form I take, I promise I won’t hurt any of you…” He still tried to make a pledge anyways, even when Kyo didn’t hold him to it.

It took all of Kyo’s nerves to point out he was too little too late for how much the prince was digging his nails in his back, or the numerous points his body had to heal and close off his wounds to keep from bleeding on the bed. 

It’s the thought that counts anyways.

“Fine, fine…” He gave in to the promise. If it could calm his nerves, not just over his mortality, but his dragonic self-control, so be it. “So how else can I help you to go back to sleep?”

“I want to listen to you…”

“Uuh…” Didn’t he just say he didn’t want to be lulled to sleep by his singing? 

But before he could ask to clarify, Kamui shifted around until he pressed his ear against his chest once more. The longer he listened, the more he eased and relaxed again, to the point he hummed and purred against him in return.

Well… whatever worked…

And work it did, even if he fell asleep just before Kamui had, having been lulled by Kamui’s purring in return.

* * *

Once again, Kyo found himself waking up well before the other three. The morning was still young, and in Kamui’s sleep, he completed his transformation and lost his tail. 

Like any other morning, Kyo could easily maneuver his way out of this pile, and he could slip back to his own world to get space, like always.

There was not a single thing these three could do to stop him, and Eclair could take over whatever summoner duties he himself was supposed to do for orbs’ sake.

Not a single thing.

Not one.

…

…

...But he _could_ use the extra few hours to sleep in, too. As a treat.

So he did just that. He went back to sleep, and barely an hour in, Kamui woke up before Lifonse, for a change of pace. He was even more sluggish than the last time he woke up, but as much as he prepared to roll off and wake Lifonse up, he took pause when he realized Kyo was still with him.

He may have gripped him absentmindedly at first, and nearly woke him up, but to see him still with him, and more, still clearly alive and breathing, his heart pounded harder, and he cuddled up beside him just a little longer. 


	2. Renewed Resolve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He thought they were past this. Kyo thought they made their feelings clear, and Kamui would be fine. When it turned out the dragon prince couldn't fully settle down after all, he reached out to him in the midst of a panic attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! For post updates, questions, art and general random silliness in between, check me out at eriisaam.tumblr.com for more!

“What do you _mean_ he locked himself in his room all day?”

“Exactly what I said, Kyo.”

Having barely started to undress out of the coat of his host uniform, Kyo already caught on quickly something was wrong with how Kamui was nowhere in sight, and how stiff the air of their dorm already was. To then see Eclair was visibly upset and quiet, he took Lifonse’s tense demeanor more as confirmation than surprise that something happened with Kamui.

Between what Lifonse would tell him directly, and what he learned from reading between the lines otherwise, Kamui wasn’t well, the painfully obvious evidence finally caught up to him to frighten both his family and supports alike, and whatever happened was bad enough that he refused to come out even to eat, no matter who asked.

As far as Kyo could gather, Kamui wasn’t as fine as he said he was ever since Kyo’s incident of taking a hit for Kamui. He may have relented and humored him at first to no longer leave the moment the sun was about to rise, but he also didn’t want to abandon his host work entirely either. Lifonse thought it was a fair compromise that Kyo at least was trying, and even Kamui agreed at the time. 

But that was also before the reality really sank in. Or so Kyo and Lifonse guessed. When Kyo started working again, or more glaringly, when he started leaving the World of Heroes in favor of returning to the World of Pokemon again, that’s when Lifonse started pinpointing Kamui’s behavior shifting again.

“I’m fine. I haven’t been sleeping well recently, that’s all…” _That_ was his most tired excuse of it all, and one he hugged so closely to since the start of it. At first, it worked in his favor, and everyone from his supports, to his family and friends, all gave him a pass in understanding. Even Eclair tried to help most with little things at night, like trying his best to make the pillows fluffier, or the blankets that much warmer, in the ways he thought he could best help him.

But it also frustrated Lifonse to let it happen just as much as Kyo to hear it all, when it weighed heavily on them of just how much Kamui was hiding. There were cracks in his act from how anxious he seemed to get, to how much he held Eclair close, the brooding of which seemed more territorial than his usual antics. It reached the point Eclair felt nervous enough to hide with Lifonse after Kamui outright snapped viciously at a hero to get away from them just for trying to reach for something near them. 

Between realizing what he did, and breaking a cup in his hands as he did it, Lifonse was frustrated that all he could do was bandage up Kamui’s hands and let him rest in his room on his own. And since the entire morning Kyo was gone up to then, Kamui refused to come out, and would warn Lifonse and Eclair to stay away otherwise.

Great...

Kyo didn’t even bother to waste his breath at Kamui’s door. As much as Lifonse was tense, he held his tongue in favor of keeping Eclair at a distance to give Kyo space for his attempt. When the summoner pressed an ear against the door first, he could clearly hear Kamui shuffling about and moaning softly from pain, and combined with how reasoning with him earlier did little to help, Kyo opened the door and slipped in without a second thought.

Even with the forewarning, and no matter how familiarized he was of Kamui’s dragon form (or the numerous variants in-between), Kyo was still left stunned.

The entire time, Kamui was transforming. Unlike every _other_ time he transformed, it was an excruciatingly slow process, and the source of the pained moaning when Kamui still continued to resist himself even as Kyo found him.

But he was also losing the battle. Heavily. Kyo couldn’t tell how long he was fighting against himself, but Kamui seemed incredibly pale, was tired enough to lay on his side, and his clothes were torn in various places when he didn’t think to strip down prior to changing. His hands and feet already turned to monstrous, black claws, there were two black tendrils mixed with his hair that trailed by his back, his tail was fully developed and prominently curled beside him, and he could see his antlers fully formed alongside the side of his head, as well as patches of scales along his cheeks, then all throughout his body. 

Even then, he could see nubs forming and pushing out against Kamui's back, as if threatening to burst his skin any second to make room. With his back turned to Kyo, he gave the summoner a clear view throughout the entire process of how the joints of his wings lengthened, and the skin of his back discolored and then stretched to painful degrees to make up the membrane of his wings.

To hear his cries and moans made it feel almost as if it was Kamui's first time transforming all over again. To hear him openly sobbing, it was like something deeply terrified him, only to scare himself further the more his body changed. Even for a subject Kyo knew all too well, he initially couldn't tell what came first between something else scaring Kamui, or if his transformation away from his dragon stone frightened him instead. If any case, it looked like a negative feedback loop that overwhelmed the prince to the point he clutched at his head and curled up along the shredded sheets of his bed.

The entire time, the dragonic prince didn't react to Kyo. He hadn't even realized he was getting closer.

In his mind, he was almost entirely consumed now by his fears. 

There were so many times he could've lashed out directly at any one of them. Even with his precious stone, now here he was, transforming against his will as his nerves overcame him again.

How much deeper was he going to slip? Would he be like his father? Perhaps worse? No matter the efforts it took to keep him in the dark, he found out the truth anyways, thanks to Askr's records.

All it took was one horrible mistake for Anankos to completely, utterly slip from his self control. Maybe the cup Kamui broke was hardly a comparison to the forest Anankos set fire to, but he still destroyed it just as easily as the vulnerary-soaked bandage wraps Lifonse so carefully treated his palms with. How much longer would it take before the next step? And how fast would Kamui slip after?

He felt something touch his back. Immediately, he turned around to look. 

As he turned, it was then he was finally aware that not only had Kyo returned home, but he held a frustrated, annoyed, tense look as he saw him.

It took just a little longer for Kamui to realize something was holding his wrist. 

Daring to look between Kyo and his hand, he noticed Kyo had a firm grip on his wrist, just as his own hand had his claws extended. He hadn't even realized how quickly his reflexes went through the motions, until it would've been far too late.

He choked out another sob as his already weak stomach felt even more twisted. His body trembled as the realization hit him in full force.

If Kyo hadn't caught his attack, he could've very well eviscerated him then and there. 

He could've killed him just as his father killed Cadros. He could've escaped and then killed Lifonse and Eclair next. Who knew who else would suffer after…

Immediately, Kamui pulled away his wrist and moved back. In his weak, tired state, he stumbled around clumsily in trying to put distance between him and the summoner. Even as he tried to beg for Kyo to leave him and keep him locked away here for everyone's safety, his throat was too hoarse, and his nerves were so shot, that all that came out were terrified cries and trills instead.

When he backed himself into a corner of the wall, he curled up even further into himself. With his wings fully formed, he hid himself within them while tucking his tail close beside him. He felt helpless and pathetic, and without his human voice, all he could do was wait for his inevitable end.

"...Haa… Fine. I'm gonna try a little slower this time, ok?"

Try _what_ slower? He didn't completely uncurl, but he adjusted his wings to peek through them. He realized what he meant as Kyo was approaching him again, but this time the summoner took much more caution to approach. 

Even with the forewarning, Kamui still flinched at the touch. He still tried to warn Kyo to stay back, but again, he lost his voice in favor of a pitiful whimper. 

"Easy there…" He could feel his hand rub him in gentle circles along his back. Something about his touch not only magnified how much his body ached all over, but Kyo's touch felt oddly soothing right then. He couldn't tell anymore if it was his nerves, or Kyo directly healing him, but his resistance weakened.

When Kyo tried to pull him close, however, his nerves got the better of him, and he revealed himself once more, not to attack him again, but to openly hiss at him. Yet again, Kamui was left shaken and confused, and Kyo could see the signs he didn't mean to do that either. He backed down, but the prince was visibly shaking, and felt even more lost.

He hated this. _So much._

Kyo wished he could've just sang to him and got this over with. Either it would pacify the prince, or lull him to sleep, and if any case, treating him thereafter would've been a breeze. 

However, he wasn't _that_ callous. Kamui already made it clear to him well before how much his past self already abused that privilege to his own ends, and he knew trying to sing then, no matter how well-meaning he was of it, would set him off even more.

It made him feel a little jealous. How come his cousin could lull and sway him with her songs without issue then? Even if he also knew he had some level of fault as well for this, at the same time, he was equally frustrated _he_ hadn't abused such power, despite being punished anyways for what another version of him did.

But he held his tongue. Kamui was still too frightened to handle him so lightly right then. Through gritted teeth, Kyo tried to be more patient, and he knew he could plan his way around the lack of singing. This was hardly any different from the times he as a pokemon trainer had to flex his skills, albeit this time the ‘pokemon’ was a bit more unconventional.

"Shhh, c'mere." So Kyo tried again. He still saw the way Kamui shifted away from him at first, but the resistance was slower and hesitant this time. Kyo paused and froze every time, but when Kamui settled again, he’d approach him again, even if it took him anywhere from a few inches, to a twitch’s worth at a time. 

When Kyo finally had him, Kamui no longer resisted, even if he was clearly still scared. Kyo tried to be careful from the way his hands rubbed him with a feather touch, to his hesitancy to pull him any closer. It took Kamui finally breaking for him to trust himself to snuggle up against Kyo’s chest, and more on Kyo’s part to hold his tongue against the ways his chest was pricked at every time Kamui’s weak nuzzling still tried to stab him multiple times with the pointed tips of his antlers. It took far too much on Kamui’s part to ease into this for him to ruin it all just to snap at him then and there.

He tried to fall back on what Kamui told him. Even with the pricks to his chest, it gave Kamui room to listen to his heartbeat. Thankfully, it still calmed him even in this state, and as much as Kyo had all manner of things he wanted to ask (or scold him for otherwise), he held his tongue to give Kamui a moment first. He could hear the way Kamui’s breaths calmed to a pace in rhythm to every other beat of his heart. He could still see he was clearly upset, but he also watched how Kamui tried to trust himself enough to relax, and just enough to openly purr against him. 

He didn’t fully let his guard down, however. To Kyo’s relief, Kamui managed to ground himself enough to stop his transformation almost immediately as he was held and coddled. The problem was, this did nothing to reverse the changes already there. The dragonified prince continued to purr heavily and loudly, but if not the rumbling of its strength, Kyo could also feel the way he trembled in his arms the whole time. Not to mention, he could _also_ feel the way the very tip of Kamui’s claws were pricking him through the fabric of his shirt, threatening to shred the fabric with ease if Kyo so much as twitched wrong. 

Where to go from here…? He said his peace before. So did Kamui. He thought he’d be fine, and yet here he was, cradling a pointy, prickly bundle of nerves who wouldn’t talk to him.

But even to hear Kyo’s heartbeat helped his nerves heavily. Just to have him there was more than Kamui felt like he deserved. 

For someone who kept shoving the summoner and trying to hiss him away earlier, now he used his wings to hug Kyo more than his arms and claws already did. If Kyo hadn’t mind his shirt gradually getting soaked with his tears, Kamui forgot the concerns likewise, enough so he didn’t even notice a piece of the fabric tore slightly as a part of his antlers caught it mid-nuzzling.

He wanted to be selfish. Maybe he already was. He wasn’t exactly naive to the thoughts of how much everyone, even his own siblings, thought of him as childish in times like this. Even if he still feared of being too dangerous to be near people, he needed this comfort more than anything right then. He wanted to pretend again that everything was fine, it was just a normal day, and they could go back to the more usual worries of their duties with this Askr.

It broke his heart all over again when, even amidst how calm it was, memories flooded his mind to cruelly remind him how this wasn’t so. He remembered everything from how he struck down his original Azura so long ago the first time he transformed, to more recent things, like Kyo’s apparent death, then his actual death, and even what happened recently when his nerves were starting to fail him.

What felt the strongest to him was the memory of how he tried to attack Kyo just a moment ago. He could’ve killed him, and yet, he forced himself on him immediately after, as if nothing happened. If he let him go now, would Kyo flee from him? He knew it wasn’t right to hold him like this, but he was scared to let go to confirm it, no matter the evidence.

He couldn’t stop himself in time to hold back from sobbing. 

And yet, Kyo rubbed his shoulder and gently tried to shush him. He could feel something press on the top of his head, but he didn’t need to move to realize Kyo rested his chin on him while cradling him.

Did he really not fear him? Was he really still ok with him, even after everything? 

He remembered times like this in the past, but in better circumstances. He felt selfish in those times too, even if he wasn’t a stranger to Kyo taking the time to hold him like this when he wasn’t being so guarded and tough. At least, as far as how Kamui saw it.

But… something about Kyo’s demeanor was different from last time. Kamui wasn’t sure how to describe it, or in what specific ways, but there were little things like how he seemed gentler in his tone, or how Kamui felt warmer to his touch than before. He wanted to go so far as to say his aura felt different too, but when he took better notice of Kyo, he realized the last part was him using his power to heal him after all. It was a soothing feeling that radiated in an intermittent pulse.

He wasn't sure how much time passed. He gradually lost his sense of his surroundings after a while. His purring softened in its intensity the more secured he felt beside Kyo, but didn't fully subside just yet. He could've easily been lulled to sleep between Kyo's calming, healing pulses, and listening to his heartbeat. But just before he would've dozed off, he suddenly perked his attention as Kyo gently shifted his hold of him and tried to move away.

He hesitated, and he whined timidly before he could help himself. But, even if he hated it, Kamui released his hold and freed Kyo from the embrace of his wings, and only settled down in full once more when Kyo dug through his convoy, rather than abandon him as he feared.

"Haa, so… I'm guessing you still can't change back the rest of the way, huh…" As annoyed as Kyo seemed, he wasn't especially urgent to force him. He only paid partial attention to him as he still dug into his supplies. It spurned Kamui to try once more to speak.

"M-my stomach hurts…" Fortunately, he was calm enough to regain his voice. But it was strained, and it came out hoarse and soft. "And I feel really dizzy…"

"Yeah, well… You still hadn't eaten up to now, have you…" At least he took Kamui's voice as a sign of progress, but nevertheless, he still seemed frustrated at him. "Gimme a sec, I'll get you something."

"Kyo…" 

"What?"

"Why are you doing this…?" 

He paused for a moment. Kamui was serious in his tone, but it was less Kyo didn't have an answer, and more that he tried to guess what Kamui needed to hear.

He was a dumbass. Plain and simple. And yet, he was also _his_ dumbass, _and_ his responsibility to keep healthy and safe. 

Obviously, he had to have way more tact right then than to come out and say it like _that,_ but the temptation was certainly there otherwise. He sighed while digging up the berries he wanted and a small knife to prepare them with. In short order, their nightstand was mostly cleared, he had a bowl, and there was a tiny pile of cut stems as his bowl filled with bite-sized pieces of diced sitrus.

“Do you think you can eat or drink on your own?”

“...You… you didn’t answer my question…”

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’ then…”

“Kyo…”

“Ey. You need food. Don’t ‘Kyo’ me.”

“Please… I-I need to know…”

“Tch. Is it _that_ hard to believe I care? Do I really need another reason than that?”

He wanted to protest, but Kamui lost heart part of the way, and his attempt came out more like a sigh. Discouraged, the most he could do was shift to get cozy as he laid on his side, watching Kyo continue to prepare snacks.

It wasn’t entirely just diced sitrus berries, however. Kyo brought out a bottle as well, one Kamui quickly recognized was moomoo milk from his world. As much as Kyo always dismissed it and kept giving them away to him and Eclair like he was just clearing space, Kamui always found it touching he never seemed to go without having them in his convoy at all times. He wanted to believe maybe, he kept them well-stocked just for them, especially when they learned of how quickly they promoted healing to drink them.

He was right. He showed his cares, but in the subtler ways he acted, rather than his words. 

“ _Now_ will you eat? Or do I need to feed you?” He set the knife aside on the desk, but hesitated to take the bowl or bottle. Even when he asked, he couldn’t help but suspect he knew the answer was ‘no’.

“I… I don’t deserve-”

“Feeding it is.” With a preface like that, he practically groaned out his words. To Kamui’s surprise (and slight fear), Kyo didn’t think twice to ease into sitting on the bed, and was just as nonchalant in the way he grabbed Kamui and helped him sit up, even to lean up against him. The entire time, Kyo was disgruntled, but in a way it was like he neither cared how monstrous Kamui was, nor how shredded the center of his shirt especially was.

Was he really not phased by any of this?

“Kyo…”

“I’m not debating over this.”

“No, I… Kyo, what do you see when you look at me? Am I a beast after all?” 

“This again? This is the same thing you asked last time!”

“Y-yes but… I’m also worse than last time. I even tried to hurt you, right after I promised I wouldn’t... Are you really still not afraid of me…?”

The only answer he got back was a heavy sigh. Kyo glared down to him, but he could clearly see it was more from annoyance than hatred or scorn. He expected so much worse.

But he didn’t quite expect for Kyo to take initiative to shift his pants, or to outright strip off and toss his shirt away. In the brief time Kamui let himself get distracted by the discarded shirt, it was just enough time for Kyo to outright transform himself to the same extent Kamui had, give or take where his shininess tried to translate as blue scales over grey and white.

It made Kamui jump a little in seeing it, as hypocritical as he felt.

“There. Now we’re even.” He was just as dismissive of his own transformation as he was of Kamui. He went through the same motions of pulling Kamui closer, or bringing the bottle of milk with him, but now he can clearly see Kyo’s irritation translate in the way the tip of his new tail flicked rapidly.

“But I still attacked y-”

“Look, if you’re gonna be _that_ hung up about it, we’ll deal with that later.” At least his new claws made it easier to pry the top of the milk bottle’s cap outright with the very tips. “When you’re well again, I can suplex you into a lake, and we’ll call it even. But you have to get well soon first.”

He couldn’t help but laugh a little, even if much of it was from disbelief. 

“Now, _drink._ And do it slowly, too. It’ll hurt if you go too fast.”

He relented. He shifted to settle beside Kyo’s chest, but much like how he held him previously, Kyo coiled his tail gently over his lap, and he blanketed his lower body with his wings. He still felt too woozy to entirely trust himself, but Kyo was patient enough to help steady his hold on the bottle as he drank. Just as Kyo predicted, he took pause in his coughing and pained gasps when it went down too fast, and his chest constricted, yet Kyo anticipated it enough to massage his chest with his open palm while minding his new claws, all while holding the bottle away for a moment.

“And _this_ is why you needed to eat.” He was frustrated, but he also held back from the usual edge in his words in favor of easing Kamui more. “What the hell was going without food supposed to accomplish, ah?”

“I didn’t want to risk attacking someone at the mess hall… And I didn’t want to burden Lifonse or Eclair over something so simple either… What if I lost control of myself, or worse?”

“And you think going from a cranky pain-in-the-ass dragon to a _starving_ pain-in-the-ass dragon is gonna help that?!”

He didn’t have an answer. He wanted to protest and tell Kyo it wasn’t entirely like that, but when put that way, Kyo wasn’t entirely wrong either. 

Still, he coaxed Kamui to drink more of the milk, and as he had an easier time in the second attempt to gulp it down without the same painful chest cramps, Kyo took the chance to vent his frustrations.

“Was this all _really_ about that same damn talk from last time? Is this what this is all about?”

The most he got was a vague “Mmn..!” mid-drink. Not that he expected much.

“So this whole time you’ve been stressed. It happens. It adds up, and then it eats at you. You think I don’t also have times I’ve punched through walls or bodychecked people with unexpected tails before? Why didn’t you come to Lifonse or Eclair over this?”

“I was scared… What if I became something even you couldn’t stop…?” Having nearly drank all but a quarter of the milk, he hesitated. What immediately came to mind was Anankos in his fully-realized state, just before he was put down. Even then, Kyo was neither impressed, nor intimidated.

“You’re certainly welcome to try…” Initially, his tone was dismissive and dry, but he shook his head while coaxing Kamui to finish the rest of the bottle. “You’re better than this, Kamui. And now you seem more grounded again, right? You’re only going to freak Lifonse and Eclair more to drive yourself sick like this...”

Looking down to the empty bottle, he did realize he felt far more at ease. He was still afraid of the what-if’s, but it felt less suffocating now. Before, it haunted him and made him feel like he was drowning. But like a buoy, Kyo brought him back and made him feel more secured, just enough to help clear his thoughts. Even when left in the state he was, the way Kyo treated it like it was nothing made him feel just a little more secure again to feel the same. 

He let Kyo take the bottle from him as he brought the bowl in front of them next. He carefully plucked the diced up piece of sitrus at the very tip of his claws with precision that made him think of chopsticks in Hoshido. As Kyo fed him the first piece, even the taste and texture made him think of a Hoshidan pear.

He felt embarrassed at first to force Kyo to the point of having to hand-feed him like this, but in a few bites in, he relaxed more at another thought. It started affecting him of just how calmly Kyo cradled him, or how casually he spent time fussing over him.

It made him feel like it was ok to be a dragon, regardless of to what extent. It was the kind of feeling barely anyone could comfort him through nearly so seamlessly, no matter how much they tried. 

Between his own blood as a manakete, and the kind of pokemon hybrid Kyo was, it was a bond Kamui was more than grateful even this Kyo was willing to share with him.

“Better?” Even Kyo started realizing the shift in Kamui’s demeanor. There was still hesitance in the prince, but it didn’t seem so dire and guarded like before when he was still somewhat feral. What made it easier to ease into this was how much Kyo continued to act like nothing of what happened earlier mattered, enough so that Kamui tried to relax in following his example more.

Maybe it wasn’t the most filling meal, but it was still something, and as Kamui ate the last morsel, Kyo set the bowl off to the side while cradling him further. Even then, he didn’t force him to change one direction or the other, even if he was certainly calm enough to try it again. He expected Kyo at least to change back likewise, yet took notice when the summoner simply readjusted how he sat before cradling Kamui closer and covering him moreso in his wings instead.

“...Kyo…Should the time arise when I lose myself completely… Promise me you’ll do what you must. You’ll do it to protect the others, right?”

“If I ever got to that point instead, would you have done the same?”

He felt his heart clench uncomfortably. It already hurt him to be reminded he lost Kyo once before, but while he felt grief crept up on him again of the thoughts that started all this, Kyo’s shift in perspective made him hesitate. He barely noticed Kyo reach for his claw to hold in his until after Kyo was already rubbing his palm with his thumb.

Nothing about his form scared him. If anything, Kyo held him, coddled him, and cradled him just like he always had when he took on a more humanoid form.

“I’ve got my own plans. If you really must know, I got my own ways to deal with you if it came down to it.” If Kamui was going to keep asking time and again, he may as well make his points clearer, especially when he realized it seemed he failed at it last time. “But where you seem certain it’ll come to that point, _I’m_ certain otherwise. You’re an anxious mess, but despite it all, you’re still you. The same pain in the ass like always.”

He huffed. He was still faint otherwise, from his smile, to his gestures, but at least then Kyo got him to swish his tail again. Just a little.

“But I’m not going to make a promise like that. Even if it ever got to that point, I’ll drag your ass back home and find my own way to bring you back to your senses. Even if it had to take chasing you down from whatever screwed up hell you dragged me into then.”

“...You seem so certain…”

“ _You_ seem too paranoid.” Even when Kyo huffed and aired out his thoughts with hardly a care, Kamui could tell there was some level of sincerity underneath his snark. “I guessed as much I owe it to you and Lifonse, anyways…”

And if any case, Kyo was confident and set in his ways. He was nothing if not stubborn. Some found it infuriating, but for this, Kamui found some sense of inspiration. He still tried to follow his example, just to feel more secure. 

Without the pressure to change back, he didn’t. So long as Kamui had him, Kyo didn’t either. Not just yet. He could see the signs here and there of Kamui easing back into how he was before this mess, and before he got attacked that day. He was genuine this time, from the way he curled up and nuzzled beside Kyo cutely, or the lively swish of his tail wags Kyo realized he kinda missed for a while now. There was a longer road to recovery to make sure Kamui was fully, truly grounded. He also realized a far heavier talk with Lifonse awaited him of how to keep him secured he was fine, even in the pokemon world.

But right then, he got the prince to curl up against his chest, by his lap, rumbling with purrs once more, but in a happier and sweeter tone than the anxious rumblings from before. It took him a moment to realize he himself purred with him. 

“You’re a stupid-ass sometimes…” He finally blurted out his thoughts when he was sure Kamui was fast asleep, but he cradled him close just as he himself was about ready to doze off for the night. “But I guess I’m even more stupid to let it get this far. Hah…”

At least he was still cute. At least he was still that sweet dumbass of a manakete prince. 

And at least he was still himself, despite everything. 

But he realized too that if this was going to work, he might’ve approached a lot of it wrong after all. For now, he gently kissed him and settled in for the night, leaving Lifonse and Eclair to check up on them, only to give them space in noticing the two sleeping as they had.

Those kind of thoughts were best left for more than just that night anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of a prompt challenge of writing based around what a given hero said in poking them in-game. By coincidence, it happened to line up well continuing this, I feel.


End file.
